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Posted June 6, 2016 at 3:37pm
No offense Mr. Reaper, but I could get this done way faster without you. My lawnmower is, like, WAY better than a scythe.
Posted June 3, 2016 at 11:41am
"But monkeys do exist!"

Sure they do buddy, sure they do. Dinosaurs too, right?
Posted May 31, 2016 at 4:03pm
Look out for Non-Organic Substance in part 3!
Posted May 28, 2016 at 8:08am
Apples are beyond the confines of mathematics.
Posted May 24, 2016 at 2:20pm
They may not win any cases, but they will definitely win your heart.
Posted May 20, 2016 at 10:35am
The second you free yourself, your car turns into a self-driving convertible.
Posted May 17, 2016 at 8:46am
I should introduce you to my friend. He has "Student Loan Debt" tattooed on his chest.
Posted May 10, 2016 at 2:51pm
I've never felt a better purpose for my extremely long arms.
Posted May 6, 2016 at 9:30am
I'm sorry, stressful situations bring out the wurst in me.
Posted May 4, 2016 at 10:50am
Oh no, I still remember it in heaven! Oh god no!