Archive
Posted September 29, 2016 at 6:36am
I know bees are important, but pandas don't buzz around my head and try to sting me!
 
Posted September 27, 2016 at 8:39am
I tried to race in the Kentucky Derby, but I lost by a nose.
 
Posted September 24, 2016 at 8:37am
How is your tie even staying on right now?
 
Posted September 22, 2016 at 8:40am
Galileo was right. Centuries of technological advancements and we still can't see his tiny dick.
 
Posted September 20, 2016 at 7:15am
Well... I should've mastered writing a funny description by now...
 
Posted September 15, 2016 at 8:21am
C'mon guys, the fire got all of my belts!
 
Posted September 9, 2016 at 10:08am
Long Arm Lou gets all the chicks.
 
Posted September 7, 2016 at 7:21am
I think "kill yourself" is the common greeting on the world wide web because everyone says it to me.
 
Posted September 3, 2016 at 8:30am
I fear not death. Death fears me.
 
Posted August 31, 2016 at 1:58pm
We put on such sexy make up and people just laugh at us.
 
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