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Posted May 20, 2016 at 10:35am
The second you free yourself, your car turns into a self-driving convertible.
Posted May 17, 2016 at 8:46am
I should introduce you to my friend. He has "Student Loan Debt" tattooed on his chest.
Posted May 10, 2016 at 2:51pm
I've never felt a better purpose for my extremely long arms.
Posted May 6, 2016 at 9:30am
I'm sorry, stressful situations bring out the wurst in me.
Posted May 4, 2016 at 10:50am
Oh no, I still remember it in heaven! Oh god no!
Posted April 28, 2016 at 9:06am
Next, we'd like you to prepare some shit on a shingle.
Posted April 25, 2016 at 8:27am
So true. So me.
Posted April 22, 2016 at 3:10pm
Back in my day, we were flying the day we hatched!
Posted April 20, 2016 at 7:56am
An artist must suffer for his work.
Posted April 15, 2016 at 2:54pm
Have your cake and eat it too.